No you are not self-absorbed, you are just living life on the inside but choosing to smile on the outside.
Solitude breeds contentment, loneliness breeds emptiness.
Often, in our quest to self discovery, we mistake one for the other.
Learn the difference, save yourself.
Let’s pretend that Sun Tzu was a just a myth
That we invented the art of war
And to have an upper hand, we swallowed all the weapons
Do you know what happens when your tongue is floating in nothing but gun powder?
It gets used to the taste, trains itself to stand in the path of war
But sometimes we are civil
Where we live, there is a room we love more
This room has walls made only of ice
That once you step inside, everything else becomes frozen
And you bleed only from the inside
Some people call it the cold war
But listen love, we are not over-thinkers, we certainly are not pessimists
So let’s play pretend, let’s call it simply a truce
Let’s all just play pretend
Wait, we are too good at this
Tell that to all the lovers we’ve met
Others we’ve ignored when they were not looking
Those with the perfect image,
unblemished even after past lives but still we filtered them
Looking for damages in places there were none
But aren’t we really the damaged ones?
Edging through the door, piece by piece
Slipping to the other side before they knew we were gone
We just wanna speed away and leave no trail
If only we could tip the scale,
make us lighter, less scared to want things
There is not really much out there anyway
Hey ye of little faith, have you never made a wish to the wind?
Wait a minute, is that a trick question?
No one said anything about going in deep
Let’s keep it simple, let’s play pretend.
Let’s pretend that we’ve mastered the art of conversation
That’s nothing is really lost in the ones that end too soon
Or the ones that change course mid-sentence
Let’s pretend that we care deeply about the smiles in the crowd
Those are the easiest to cheat, no time to linger
Please don’t judge
We are merely moving on to the next best thing
Let’s pretend that we didn’t start running to give ourselves a headstart
That we both waited long enough to bolt out
And there was the grace period before we pushed the clock forward into the future
Where even the heart with the best intention has a mind of its own
Hey, I know from somewhere. Have we met before?
The hard swallow as we dust away our memories
There are no ghosts left in my corner
No, you must have me confused with someone else
Let’s pretend that we were all pure when we first met
Those days we fed each other only parts we loved
Putting the price of gold in even the tinniest things
Like the touch of a hand
Such hands are evasive
Such hands know more than they are telling
But they are really useless if they can’t send us to places we’ve never been
Like thriving in the underbelly of a heart
Where it is easy to reach in and squeeze out the air
Is that what you mean when you say you are out of breath?
What’s that they always say, make peace with the mirror and smile?
But who’s that on the other side?
Come out, let’s play pretend
Let’s pretend that all liars first met in the streets
and they followed each other home
And behind closed doors, they schemed how to trick us all
Let’s pretend that it’s never really a lie
until you learn to choose the right side
When no one else is listening
Let us all make holes in our fortress of solitude,
so that we can hear each others think
Let us build bridges in between the spaces
so we can learn to speak in the code of silence
When all the voices are pleading to get in
Let us all run to the edges and seal all the openings
When the lies are ready to spill
Let us all build a wall
so we can shut out the pain
Let us cover our eyes with pride
so we never have to meet at the kitchen table
It must be such a burden to be a closeted lover
You poor soul, lost in another person’s story
Searching for something you can’t find
Treasuring things that have never been yours
Or those that go away too easily
What has the world done to you?