The desperate kingdom of love


I grew up obsessing over Mexican soap operas and reading delightful love stories like Cinderella and Snow White, the perfect prototypes for ‘love and happily ever afters.’ My version of love was simple; my knight in shining armor would one day sweep me off my feet and we would drive off to sunset together as the perfect love song resonated in the background. Then I grew up and I landed hard on the pavement from cloud nine. I had so much to learn about love and the complexities attached to it.

Now I know the kingdom of love is a desperate one; every heart is looking for a residence among the chaos and the debris of life. We all try to find love at one point or another. When we are eight we hang on to puppy love that is oh, so sweet and innocent. When we are thirteen we fall for the older boy next door. When we are sixteen we write amateur Shakespearean love letters to the ‘custodians of our hearts.’ When we are nineteen we stalk our love interests on social media. When we are twenty eight we attend parties to scout for eligible bachelors and bachelorettes.  When we are thirty two we are still chasing the ones that are already taken.

We all try; some a little too hard and all they ever get is nothing more than a cursory glance that screams keep off. Or a shrug that shows lack of interest. Or a bland smile that kills their confidence to try harder.

Men have always been the hunters; preying on a woman’s attention and praying to win her heart as well. Over the years the emancipation of women has created a liberal society. Now the scale has been dipped, women are equally as hunters as men. It can never get any easier especially when love is so complex and uncertain.

The person you don’t want wants you while the person you want doesn’t want you. Unrequited love is like a boil that won’t burst; the pain just refuses to go away. How then do we deal with love that is not reciprocated? The popular Kenyan mantra to any unpleasant situation is: ACCEPT AND MOVE ON. Accept your place as a rejected lover and move on. Easier said than done because the heart wants what the heart wants.

In the war of the hearts, there are also the unending break ups that have over the years punctuated the lives of Hollywood’s most perfect couples like Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. Whatever happened to these two American sweethearts?

Where do broken hearts go? Some go on a rebound rampage having random sex with random people. Other mushy ones like Taylor Swift channel their rage into number one hits. This country-pop singer has made a fortune scathing exes like John Mayer and Harry Styles. The wrath of a jilted lover is never one to be underestimated. After all, there is a thin line between love and hate. Lovers have been known to turn pure evil in their desperation. For instance a man in New Delhi on Sunday threw acid on an 18 year old girl after she turned down his marriage proposal.

Some figure out, who needs such burden to the heart when you can buy love? They buy it on the streets, in dingy brothels, in between the white crisp sheets of five star hotel rooms, inside homes. At the end of the day, we seek love, we find love and we lose love. It is like a vicious cycle. How we wish to just EAT, PRAY, LOVE.

While I ponder on matters of love, I always lend an ear to the poetic lyrics of Ed Sheeran. And sure this British singer has never disappointed. My latest therapy is Give me love.

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About sensoria300

I harness words, I thrive on them. I tell stories. I am dreamer, sometimes a poet but mostly I am a Game of Thrones fanatic. Lady Olenna, Lyanna Mormont and Arya Stark are my spirit animals.

Posted on November 18, 2013, in Soul Food and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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