From 2013 with memories, Happy New Year!
It is only a matter of hours before we bid goodbye to 2013 and usher in a new year. The good thing about new years is that we feel so sanguine we tend to make resolutions we know we can never live up to. Well, 2013 was a crazy year, everything was crazy, Kenyans were even crazier. These are my highlights of 2013 because they make it to my list of unforgettable memories.
1. Ndramas and vindeos
This year my classmates and I made drama movies courtesy of one Mr. Nguri Matu (we salute you Sir). Our ndramas – let me just say they were special. We busted our bottoms (for the lack of a better word) making those masterpieces. I think Hollywood should scout for more Kenyan actors and movie makers. Even Ben Affleck had to start somewhere …
2. Nairobi thieves (stop harassing hustlers)
My friend Linda was robbed of her fundamentals (no relation to Ken Wa Maria’s Fundamendos) by thieves brandishing guns. Nairobi thieves, can’t a sister catch a break. Shame on you for stealing from this adorable hustler! Beware, she now carries a really concentrated chilli spray (I am kidding, I wish she was though).
3. KOT, the villains of Twitter
Ruth Matete wore a short dress and #KOT forgot about Huddah Monroe for a second. They shredded Matete’s reputation to pieces. If you are Kenyan and you still don’t know what KOT means, SHAME ON YOU for being so analogue`. We should deport you to Zimbabwe.
4. Fundamendos (Fundamentals)
Ken Wa Maria’s new song (or should I say monster hit like they say at the Grammys) Fundamendos is like that annoying advertisment jingle that you try so hard to forget but you keep humming it anyway.
These last two have nothing to do with Kenya but I just had to sneak them in.
5. Marina Shiffrin
She became everyone’s hero when she made a video of herself quitting her job while doing an interpretive dance to Kanye West’s Gone. It should have come with a disclaimer: Don’t try this in the office.
6. A twerker called Miley
Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the craziest of them all. MILEY CYRUS! She twerked, she wrecked and she stripped until she killed any remaining memory of Hannah Montana. I hear she now raps with the likes of French Montana. Yeah, once you go black, you never go back.
Arsenal had a good year, scratch that. Arsenal had a gunnerstic year (I made that word up, sue me). Even the panting Giroud delivered at the last minute when no one had faith in him. By no one I am specifically referring to one Reakey Babji Seda and Piers Morgan. They are the only two gunners whom I know personally. They also make the loudest noise. #COYG all the way.
All in all, 2013 had its ups and downs. Some experienced the worst tragedies in their life – the demons of WestGate terror attack still haunt Kenyans until now.
It was 12 months of Passion, Pain and Pleasure. But the past is gone, we must therefore look to the future and hope with all optimism that the world doesn’t come crushing down on us. Well, Invictus said it, I only echo it “our heads are bloody but unbowed.”
Dear readers, I cannot promise you heaven in 2014 (I wish I could). But I have one wish for all of you. May we rise again from the depths of disappointment and from the bosom of pain to recapture mirth and success.
As the countdown approaches, let go of your malevolence and revengy feelings. Smile at your annoying neighbour (even if her cat crawls into your house to gulp all your milk) and heartily shout “ HAPPY NEW YEAR!” I promise it will hurt less if you throw in a smile, with more soul and less teeth of course. Don’t smile like this guy…SHELDON COOPER.
Don’t you worry, 2014 will be better. We’ll be driving Cadillacs…in our dreams. Lorde, Lorde, Lorde, you have crazy grown up aficionados.
I love y’all. And I said that with a ratchet twang. May God guide you to a blessed 2014. Au Revoir mes amies.
Posted on December 31, 2013, in Lighter note and tagged #COYG, #KOT, arsenal, blessed 2014, fundamendos, happy new year, huddah monroe, kenyans, lorde, marina shiffrin, memories, Miley Cyrus, new year, twerked, twitter. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.