JOLENE –Every woman’s handbook to taming the ‘other woman’
A friend of mine called me in the wee hours of the night, whining like a strangled kitten because she suspected her boyfriend was cheating on her. Normally, I am very understanding when it comes to matters of the heart. But seriously, it was 3 in the morning! When is that ever a pleasant time for anyone? Well, except for nocturnal enthusiasts like night runners and (blame Vampire Diaries for this) vampires and werewolves. As she ranted on and on about her misgivings, I rummaged through my head for a solution to soothe her broken heart.
Then Bingo! It hit me – DOLLY PARTON! You are probably wondering where this is going, I had to consume three cups of coffee before I was convinced, myself. You see Dolly Parton gave women a simple handbook to tame the other woman, practical tips subtly disguised in the lyrics of a simple song called Jolene.
Anyone who has ever listened to this song certainly remembers how Parton’s lilting voice begs into the lyrics, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I’m begging of you please don’t take my man…Please don’t take him just because you can…Your beauty is beyond compare…Please don’t take my man.
The other woman is a vixen, at least that is an assumption of the world, she is hot blooded too and can get any man she settles her eyes on. It is stereotypical, but that is what makes them so dangerous.
If you are a legitimate girlfriend or wife that has ever been ‘blindsided’ by another woman in hot pursuit of the man you are dating or married to, then you have certainly tried every dirty trick in the book. Probably, you have insulted her over the phone, threatened to cut her into tiny pieces or flog her in the market (which is refreshingly evil by the way). For the technology savvy ones, maybe you have named and shamed her on every social media platform you can access in the hope that she will get the memo and leave your husband/boyfriend alone.
But sometimes, no matter what you do, the other woman will never take the high road. Why, because these threats and insults make them toughen up, their skins are almost impenetrable.
Well, let me introduce you to a new approach. How about exercising soft power? I suggest that you BEG her to leave your man alone. Some people underestimate the power of begging, and a lot of women probably hate me for suggesting this. But let me demystify. Yeah, I know the word BEG sends most women in a fit of rage (God, my stomach churns just by saying it). Women are emotional beings after all; our communication relies heavily on the emotional coordination within our body. This emotional coordination makes all women telepathic by default.
Begging her to leave your man alone will invoke an empathic chain reaction that will eventually lead to a common ground. It’s not weak; it is just taking a different approach to protect your territory. It is desperate I know, but show me any woman whose man is being snatched who is never desperate.
But don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you should go down on your knees because that is just PUSHING IT! Just be fragile for a minute, and let her see the vulnerability of your femininity. If she doesn’t take the bait then she just DARN EVIL! There is a special place for her in Guantanamo.