Captivity of Negativity


Theodore Bagwell is not a likable character, at least not where physical appearances are concerned. He cannot grace the cover of Vogue, adorning an Armani suit and drive women crazy, period! He is a dirty Southerner with a lizard tongue, blood shot eyes and terrible thinning hair. He is a murderer, a thief, a paedophile, a rapist, a racist and an opportunistic schemer. Simply put, Theodore Bagwell is a classical sociopath. He is the character we all loved to hate during our Prison Break days because he was the opposite of Michael Scofield.

Needless to say,he may not have wooed many ladies with his onscreen antics but he gave us something to ponder over. He gave us CAPTIVITY OF NEGATIVITY.

The dictionary defines Captivity of negativity as a form of depression in which you feel like crap and are falling down a never –ending gravitational spiral of negativity.

When you are in the captivity of negativity, you channel all the negative energy inside you because you think you cannot escape it. The negative energy is like a fix, a dose of heroine and the more you feed on it, the more you feel worthless.

When it comes to negativity, we can all relate too well. We are captives of our own negativity, living in prisons of our own creations. Sometimes our lives are peppered with bad experiences such asbroken relationships, death of a loved one, losing a job, bad investments, poor grades, bullying, failure and poor choices in life.

And God knows, when you get your fair share of unpalatable experiences, sometimes the negativity is inevitable. It steals its way into your heart like a common thief, seeking residence in your bitterness, guilt, hate, revenge, jealousy, rage, self-loathsomeness and self-doubt.

Your mind is in constant turmoil because you want another person’s life. You want his life, his car, his job, his house and even his wife. You are stuck in your own captivity of jealousy. But the truth is, you will never be able to craft your own destiny if you keep looking over the fence for greener pastures.

Or perhaps you don’t give yourself enough credit. Every time you set out to do something, there’s always that midget voice whispering ‘I’m not good enough,’ a constant reminder that you are a failure. You recite it to yourself until you believe it.

The fear makes you numb, blocking you from achieving your true potential. So you shrink to obscurity, the only place you feel comfortable in. Before I began blogging, I was always asking myself, what if they don’t like what I write? What if I don’t have any ideas? What if nobody reads what I write? All these what ifs were skyrocketing in my head and all I could think of was ‘I was going to fail.’ I was stuck in a prison of self-doubt, my own captivity of negativity. Until I learned the secret, the only way I would ever know my true worth was to have the guts to publish a post.

I’m happy I did because it gave me the confidence I needed to share my thoughts with the world.L learned a valuable lesson: the first step towards freedom and control is acknowledging that a prison exists within us.Once we admit it to ourselves, only then can we break free from this captivity of negativity. It is like a cloud that you have to forcefully pull yourself out of, even if it sucks up all your energy. The life you want is out there, you only have to knock down the prison walls to get to it.

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About sensoria300

I harness words, I thrive on them. I tell stories. I am dreamer, sometimes a poet but mostly I am a Game of Thrones fanatic. Lady Olenna, Lyanna Mormont and Arya Stark are my spirit animals.

Posted on July 15, 2014, in Soul Food. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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