Bringing the sexy back…with the boudoir striptease

photo courtesy of

photo courtesy of

As much as they would like to deny it, the psychology of men is often, if not always, wired towards the physical appeal. Men, by nature get excited (you could say aroused) by how a woman presents herself physically, which doesn’t necessarily have to border on beauty. Whether she is attractive or not, ultimately, a woman who knows how to play her cards well in the seduction game gets the man. And if she is twice lucky, he gets to put a ring on it.

Sometimes, at a certain stage in a relationship, everybody is so jaded and is just trying to make it to the end of the day without stepping on each other’s toes. This is a time when a woman retreats back to her ‘comfort zone’ which is unfortunately too comfortable.

She can wear whatever she pleases in the bedroom. She can throw on an oversized green ‘Safaricom’ T-shirt and red Bata slippers. To complement this look, she dutifully tightens a gray stocking around her massive hair. If this is supposed to be sexy, then I never got the memo. Not to mention the overall bedroom malfunction, this is repelling to a man’s libido.

A few weeks back, a newcomer columnist for a certain Kenyan daily wrote an open letter to Citizen’s Lilian Muli complaining of how her ‘sexiness’ on the prime time news was in bad taste to all Kenyan women. In her comic laced letter, she complained how Kenyan women now have to serve dinner in heels just to fight for attention from their husbands who all seem to be smitten with the news anchor.

If you can feel insecure about people on TV then it is time to bring the sexy back in your own relationship. The boudoir striptease is like the home ground of seduction, and the lap dance is how you score the try (I’m sorry to be talking in rugby lingo). When you hear the word lap dance, your mind immediately wonders to a steamy, smoke filled room where under-aged girls (poor souls!) gyrate on the laps of old pot-bellied men with fat pockets. Something like a whore house, you know like Sabina Joy in Nairobi (how I knew Sabina Joy is none of your business, but I’m inquisitive, I know things).

But the boudoir striptease is a different story, besides it is totally legit. Certainly, a private lap dance for your boyfriend or husband is almost like the Holy Grail of any relationship. However as riveting as it may sound, the lap dance is an art, and every art has to be performed with ingenuity and style. Here are a few tips:

  • The striptease wardrobe is crucial, the moment you decide to do a lap dance is the same moment you burn that ‘Sing’enge ni Ng’ombe’ T-shirt you insist on sleeping in. Invest is some sexy clothing like lingerie, negligee or any role playing attire you want to adopt. The clothing should show some flesh without revealing too much. The aim of seduction is to expose while leaving some details to imagination. It also helps to wear heels, remember the heels debacle above (honey, men love a woman in heels, in the boardroom, in the streets and in the bedroom).
  • Take control and take pleasure in teasing him. Remember you are the MC and you are running the show. In short, you are the lady boss.
  • Before you do any twirling or swaying; be comfortable with your body. Keep in mind that you are trying to look sexy, not cringe beneath the bed. Cardinal rule: you cannot look sexy, if you don’t feel sexy.
  • A lap dance without music is like chips without Aromat (that advert on TV pisses me off). Apart from setting the mood, a good beat automatically synchs with your body. Feel the groove and let your body loose, releasing all your sensuality.

Tips aside, the boudoir striptease is ultimately about attitude and soul. It is about expressing your sexuality i


About sensoria300

I harness words, I thrive on them. I tell stories. I am dreamer, sometimes a poet but mostly I am a Game of Thrones fanatic. Lady Olenna, Lyanna Mormont and Arya Stark are my spirit animals.

Posted on August 20, 2014, in Relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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