Hey yea of weak hearts, stay away from this post for it is full of spoilers.
The final episode of Game of Thrones season 7, The Dragon and the Wolf gave us what our hearts truly desired in more ways than one. Chatty moments, scheming moments, clandestine boat-rocking moments, throat-slitting moments and of course the Ice Dragon Viserion moments, all rolled up into the most adrenaline-pumped GoT episode yet. And it was long, just like we like it.
Diplomatic mission to King’s Landing
As usual, Cersei killed it in the fashion department, and she knew it as she walked in with her lethal security (zombie Mountain, Qyburn and Ser Jaime) to receive Daenerys emissaries at King’s Landing. There were a couple of deathly stares here and there, some nostalgic ones as they all waited for Dany who was fashionably late.
A show-off and a drama queen as usual, Dany made her entry riding Drogon, a well calculated power move that made Cersei snap:
“We’ve been here for some time.”
We’ve been waiting for these two to be in the same room since they started speaking each other’s names. We’ve dreamed about it, fantasized. And here they were, two Queens in one city, with deep hatred and contempt for one other, sitting so close to one another that Cersei could literally spit in Dany’s face if she only leaned forward.
Then it was down to the business we all know too well, trying to convince Cersei and the other doubting Thomases that the army of the dead is real. And they did make one hell of a presentation, showcasing the wight kidnapped in Beyond the Wall. Of course, White Walkers 101 is never complete without a heartfelt speech from Jon.
Cersei agreed to support the war against the dead with a few conditions of her own. That the King in the North must go back to the North, and not choose sides between Dany and Cersei. Just a tiny problem, Jon has already bent the knee to Dany, and he chooses this highly volatile moment to let everyone know that.
Oh Jon, have you never learned to lied? I must say, our noble King in the North really needs a lot of training when it comes to the politics of the game of thrones.
Cersei threw a tantrum and left, Tyrion followed her knowing too well he might not make it out alive and convinced her to join them in their quest. She came back out and told them all what they wanted to hear, the Lannister army will march North with Jon and Dany’s army to fight the wights and the White Walkers.
But Cersei sits on the Iron Throne for a reason – no one schemes better than her. No one lies better than her. It was just her way of throwing Dany off course so she can conquer Westeros as everyone else fights in the North. Revealing all this to Jaime didn’t achieve the intended purpose – he still left to join the great war after narrowly escaping being murdered by the Moutain. Cersei almost ordered it, but she choked because well, have you seen Jaime’s jawline?
The Stark sisters outsmart Littlefinger
While major play and power struggle was taking place at the capital, Winterfell was getting rid of the most hated character on Game of Thrones, Littlefinger. For a character who gets off on scheming and betraying the Starks, to die by his own dagger was very satisfying. After conniving to have Arya punished for murder and treason, Littlefinger thought he had really hit the jackpot with this one – Sansa by his side, the threat of Arya Stark eliminated for good. Seriously, I was just waiting for the first soldier to swing a sword at Arya because we all know a girl can take care of herself.
But then GoT gave us the long awaited plot twist – it wasn’t Arya but Littlefinger who was on trial. The Stark sisters’ revenge against Littlefinger was a wishful thinking to many in this season. And they planned it well, Bran had a bit of his Three-Eyed Raven sauce thrown in there as well, the all-creepy, all-knowing, all smart Littlefinger didn’t even see it coming.
My God, Sansa was divine. And here we thought we’d see the last of her clapbacks after that time she put Littlefinger in his place in Dragonstsone. Mama, she made it!
“I’m a slow learner, it’s true. But I learn…Thank you for your many lessons Lord Baelish, I will never forget them.”
And then Arya did what she was born to do, she slashed Ldittlefinger’s throat and now the world’s problems are solved.
Jon and Daenerys finally rock the boat
When it comes to nudity and sex scenes, GoT has been very modest this season. Sure, there was that Grey Worm – Missandei moment, Jaime -Cersei moment, eww, but that was it. Enter Jon and Dany who have given us some really longing stares, the sex scene in the boat was inevitable. Woooh! Jon is one hungry king. Also, bless Kit Harrington’s soul for that butt. I will need your squats routine Jon, thank you very much.
For all intents and purposes, this was a heated scene, the audience needed this. But then it became awkward all of a sudden when they started intercutting it with the Sam-Bran revelation that Jon is not even a bastard but a legitimate Targaryen, making him the real heir to the Iron Throne.
Honestly, it was a conflict of emotions for us to see Jon and his aunt Dany so hungry for each other. At least they still don’t know they are related. It’s really weird I know, but can we really be blamed for liking it and being confused at the same time? This season didn’t give us much choice when they gave us all those sexual innuendos between Jon and Dany.
The redemption of Theon Greyjoy
This was unexpectedly the most emotional scene of this episode. If you didn’t shed a tear, you are extremely cold. In desperate need for forgiveness for sins committed against the Starks and for abandoning his sister Yara, Theon sought the comfort of Jon Snow who gave him the courage to man up and be both a Stark and a Greyjoy.
To man up he did, even getting a few loyal Ironborns to follow him and help him save his sister.
Seven blessings to him, I really hope Theon will catch a break in season 8.
Ice dragon Viserion brings down the wall
The other iconic scene of the finale was seeing the undead Viserion controlled by the Night King bring down the wall at Eastwatch-by-the-sea to pave way for the army of the dead. Was that icy fire he blew because so many people are confused.
I pity us humanity who have to wait until 2019 to know the fate of Tormund Gianstbane and Berric Dondarrion who were caught in Viserion’s mayhem.
For now, that was one heck of a send-off, The Dragon and the Wolf was a well-curated, powerful episode for the busiest season of Game of Thrones. Good to know the ravens were not overworked this time.
O ye, of weak hearts, shoo. Go find something better to do with your time because as usual, you’ll find spoilers here as I try to wrap my head around the third episode of Game of Thrones S7: The Queen’s Justice.
Let no one speak to me for 100 days. I shall be in mourning. I am heartbroken. Send a raven, the Queen of Thorns is no more. The Queen’s Justice has been served on the only woman I have ever truly cared for in Game of Thrones. The woman who freed us from the monster that was Joffrey Baratheon. The woman who put the Sand Snakes in their place (other than Euron Greyjoy of course). We shall miss your wits and your sharp tongue. Fare thee well.
She may be dead but we are all satisfied it was on her own terms. Once she drinks the poison served to her by Jaime Lannister (who gives her the mercy of a quick painless death), she confesses to poisoning Joffrey and Jaime just stands there, swallowing his failure to return the favour. “Tell Cersei I want her to know it was me.” A true queen of thorns even in her last moments.
So much for Tyrion’s strategy of war. So much for the Unsullied capturing Casterly Rock. So much for Daenerys Targaryen’s war allies.
While we are still on the subject of the Mother of Dragons, can we also discuss how Dany would fail terribly in a grammar class? It’s always refreshing to see Missandei and Tyrion clarify simple lexicon to her. For instance her latest war of words with Jon Snow.
The highly anticipated meeting finally happens and Daenerys starts off as a little bit of an ass before ‘warming’ up to Jon Snow. Like c’mon Dany, give him the dragonglass! He’s a Targaryen for crying out loud!
I’m starting to think that Dany is a little too entitled for her own good. Yeah, yeah you had a horrible childhood, so did Jon, Bran, Sansa and Arya. But do you see them whining about it every chance they get. Also, this business of making Missandei waste too much saliva, breath and energy to introduce her needs to stop. “You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne…blah blah blah.” My God, it’s been seven seasons, I think we get it already.
Ser Davos is a gem though. “This is Jon Snow.” Pause. Awkward silence. Expectation. “He’s King of the North.” I laughed so hard. Someone get the Onion Knight a beer. And throw in Missandei’s phone number while at it.
Tyrion might look like a failure at the moment for proposing shitty war strategies but he’s quite efficient when it comes to speaking on behalf of Jon Snow.
Did you see that smile they gave each other at the shores of Dragonstone. Pay attention ladies and gentlemen, that is a rare image of a Stark (until Bran speaks up, Jon is a Stark so let it go) exchanging genuine smiles with a Lannister.
At King’s Landing, Cersei is still on a winning spree, making booty calls, avenging old crimes and trying to keep the Iron Throne. When Euron presents his spoils of war to the Queen, we all know the end game for Ellaria Sand. But for Cersei to poison her youngest daughter and make her watch as she rots away in another level of evil.
Aye, aye, all present and future monsters and sympathizers of monsters everywhere, Cersei is conducting a masterclass on “How to be the best monster” in the dungeons. Good riddance to the Dornish plotline. Oh Cersei, how we all underestimated you.
Team Dany better start bringing their A game because at the moment Team Cersei is in the lead and they are winning comfortably.
Good job Sam. The Citadel was nice to us in this episode. No food. No poop. No gag reflex. Jorah Mormont is alive and well- greyscale gone. Now he can go love Daenerys in peace.
This never gets old, piss off Littlefinger.
And so it begins. Arya Stark’s cold open in Dragonstone is passed, Ed Sheeran is gone and it’s back to business as usual in Westeros.
As much as viewers have been questioning the role of Dorne and the Sand Snakes in Game of Thrones narrative, it was somehow sad to watch Obara and Nymeria fall at the hands of Euron Greyjoy.
Euron is certainly not messing around with this villain thing. Compared to Joffrey or Ramsay, his bloodlust actually matches his battle skills, and with a dash of glee as promised of his character. He is not like Joffrey who hid behind the crown like the coward he was. Nor is he like Ramsay who didn’t prove to be much of a fighter when he was finally thrown in the real battlefield by Jon Snow. Perhaps his biggest accomplishment as a psychopath was turning Theon into Reek. Poor Theon, not the kind of man you want fighting beside you in a battle. Poor Yara. Poor Ellaria. There goes part of Daenerys’ alliance.
Good thing she has her eyes set on the North courtesy of Melisandre who comes knocking at Dragonstone and convinces Dany to summon Jon Snow.
“Tell Jon Snow that his Queen invites him to come to Dragonstone. And bend the knee.”
She may be the Mother of Dragons but she is rather demanding. To summon our noble King in the North like that, asking him to bend a knee. Lyanna Mormont must hear about this.
Oops, Lyanna Mormont does hear about it. And like everyone in the council at Winterfell, she doesn’t appreciate the rest of Westeros taking the North granted.
“I mean c’mon, who do they think we are. We are the effin North for God’s sake. We remember. Ask Ramsay. Ask Meryn Trant. Ask Polliver. Ask Walder Frey, his baked sons and the entire males of House Frey. Yes, I am reciting Arya’s kills like I was there but who asked for your opinion. I am Lady of the Bear Islands.”
Even with the council’s disapproval, including Sansa’s and a creepy look from Littlefinger (I expect more scenes where Jon chokes Littlefinger), he still rides for Dragonstone because he needs Dragonglass to kill the White Walkers and Dany’s home is full of it.
The people’s enemy Cersei Lannister continues to plot. Looks like her minion Qyburn has found a way to kills Dany’s dragons. This episode couldn’t get any luckier for Cersei. Her ally Euron is killing her enemies for her. Dany’s dragons are not all that powerful. Arya is now heading North instead of South. Someone send a raven, what a lucky day for the Queen!
Missandei and Grey Worm, you beautiful creatures. Grey Worm, the Unsullied, teaching men how to love since 1934.
Seriously, Sam I cannot stand your scenes this season. Nope.
The opening scene. The brutality of it. The humour of it. The march after the killing. The victorious music. The quotes. “Leave one wolf alive, and the sheep are never safe.” Arya Stark’s revenge on House Frey was legendary – the best thing that happened in Game of Thrones season 7 episode 1.
Channeling what should have been her mother’s responsibility (had Benioff and Weiss revived her from the dead) as Lady Stoneheart, Arya transforms into a Faceless Man, gathers the Frey men for a feast a la The Red Wedding and poisons them all.
“When people ask you what happened here, tell them the North remembers. Tell them Winter came for House Frey.” Arya Stark has never been this quotable in all the six seasons on Game of Thrones. Atta girl.
Then she marches away, fiercely, eyebrows on fleek (as always).
In Winterfell, the woes of the King in the North begin. While holding a council on how to best fight the White Walkers, the first sign of tension between Jon Snow and Sansa Stark rears its ugly head. Then we catch a glimpse of Littlefinger, eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he watches the fire he ignited start to burn. Piss off you old prick.
It’s a good thing Sansa puts him in his place later. “No need to seize the last word Lord Baelish, I’ll assume it was something clever.” Damn, the Stark girls are on fire with the one-liners in this episode.
OMG Lyanna Mormont. The Lady of the Bear Islands is in her fiercest behavior as usual defending Jon’s honour. “I don’t plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me.” Lyanna Mormont, never change please.
In King’s Landing, Cersei Lannister, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, err I mean Three Kingdoms (reality check from Jaime Lannister) is preparing an offensive against Daenerys Targaryen. Cersei being Cersei, has enemies everywhere and not enough allies to take on a girl with three dragons.
Enter Euron Greyjoy, the newly crowned Lord of the Iron Islands with his fleet of a thousand ships. Aye, exactly what Cersei needs. Oh and he brings with him a marriage proposal, taking a swing at Jaime’s one handedness while at it. Just rude, very rude. You don’t point out a man’s physical inadequacy in front of his lady err sister.
Watching Euron in action, we have no doubt that he will be a worse villain that Ramsay Bolton and Joffrey Baratheon combined. The beard helps. I’m not sure about his costume though but it’s Euron so anything is possible. Also someone needs to explain his uncanny resemblance to Theon Greyjoy’s Alfie Allen. Anyone?
Samwell Tarly. Nope, not gonna talk about it. The bed pan. The food. Moving on.
Hey look, it’s Ed Sheeran debuting a new single as a member of the Lannister army. I have to say he looks out of place but it’s Ed so he is allowed to look out of place, especially with that kind of voice. Also, Imma need that single on iTunes ASAP.
Welcome home Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. Westeros has missed you. Dragonstone has missed you. And so it begins or as Dany says, “Shall we begin.”