The internet is dark and full of spoilers.
The script of the fourth episode of Game of Thrones may have been leaked (to those who read it, TRAITORS) but still The Spoils of War hit hard like a wrecking ball of fire.
In the previous three episodes, things were starting to look quite easy for Cersei, a little too easy for someone with that many enemies. Through her blood-thirsty ally Euron Greyjoy, she had defeated Daenerys’ allies, raided Highgarden for gold and became a new favourite for the Iron Bank. Such luck, we were beginning to worry.
In retaliation to the Queen’s Justice, the Mother of Dragons serves up her own justice against the Lannister’s army (after nagging Jon about bending the knee). Heeding to Lady Olenna’s advice “You are a dragon, be a dragon,” Dany swoops in just in time to show Cersei who the real Queen is.
Riding Drogon, the fearless Dothraki by her side, the Lannister army doesn’t stand a chance. This is the moment we have all been waiting for. For Daenerys to give Westeros a little taste of her dragon’s fury. It’s a masterpiece, and everyone including Jaime and Bronn are in awe as the platinum blond miniatured on Drogon’s back awashes the Lannister army with dragonfire. “Dracarys.” And everything in Drogon’s path turns into dust. Fire and blood.
Oh, wait a minute, the Lannisters possess a secret weapon – Qyburn’s dragonkiller cross-bow.
Wounded by Bronn, Drogon isn’t one to go down without a fight. Game of Thrones creators must really love Bronn because how he escapes the dragonfire is really, really questionable. Major characters have gone down for a lot less.
Or maybe his life is spared so he can save Jaime who, caught in the heroism of the moment and seeing Drogon wounded, seizes the moment to attack Dany.
Bad move mate, as echoed by his brother Tyrion who watches from a distance as Jaime advances towards Dany. Tyrion knows it, we know it, Drogon will protect his mother at all costs. He unleashes fire on the advancing Lannister. Uh-oh, is this how it ends for the Kingslayer, death by dragonfire?
Swoosh, Bronn to the rescue. The last we see of Jaime is him plunging deep into the river unsure whether he is dead or alive. Is this how he dies, death by drowning? That’s not a death befitting someone as significant as Ser Jaime. But then Game of Thrones is never here to please anyone.
Away from dragons and fire, behold, a girl is home. Arya Stark’s reunion with her siblings Sansa and Bran, er the Three-Eyed Raven, was beautiful to watch but nothing quite beats her friendly combat with Brienne of Tarth. Brienne, the tall thing of beauty she is, towers over Arya who wields Needle (a laughable weapon at first glance) but quite a dangerous one once she starts waterdancing around Brienne.
Brienne: Who taught you that?
Arya: No One.
Jaqen H’gar would be proud.
It’s quite a match, even Sansa and creepy Littlefinger can’t believe the metamorphosis of young Arya Stark.
For a show that has been criticized for belittling and raping women, GoT has sure come a long way in the strong woman narrative, from the empowered former slaver multi-translator Missandei to the brilliant and enlightened Sansa Stark. This is no longer a war of Kings but of Queens.
Watch carefully Littlefinger, the night is dark and full of terrors. If Brienne doesn’t slice his throat, maybe Arya will. I pray for that day.
Emo Bran continues to break women’s hearts as he succumbs deep into being the Three-Eyed Raven. Meera Reed, I speak on behalf of everybody when I say, we value your services to Bran and to the North. You were more than just Bran’s Uber driver to us.
The opening scene. The brutality of it. The humour of it. The march after the killing. The victorious music. The quotes. “Leave one wolf alive, and the sheep are never safe.” Arya Stark’s revenge on House Frey was legendary – the best thing that happened in Game of Thrones season 7 episode 1.
Channeling what should have been her mother’s responsibility (had Benioff and Weiss revived her from the dead) as Lady Stoneheart, Arya transforms into a Faceless Man, gathers the Frey men for a feast a la The Red Wedding and poisons them all.
“When people ask you what happened here, tell them the North remembers. Tell them Winter came for House Frey.” Arya Stark has never been this quotable in all the six seasons on Game of Thrones. Atta girl.
Then she marches away, fiercely, eyebrows on fleek (as always).
In Winterfell, the woes of the King in the North begin. While holding a council on how to best fight the White Walkers, the first sign of tension between Jon Snow and Sansa Stark rears its ugly head. Then we catch a glimpse of Littlefinger, eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he watches the fire he ignited start to burn. Piss off you old prick.
It’s a good thing Sansa puts him in his place later. “No need to seize the last word Lord Baelish, I’ll assume it was something clever.” Damn, the Stark girls are on fire with the one-liners in this episode.
OMG Lyanna Mormont. The Lady of the Bear Islands is in her fiercest behavior as usual defending Jon’s honour. “I don’t plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me.” Lyanna Mormont, never change please.
In King’s Landing, Cersei Lannister, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, err I mean Three Kingdoms (reality check from Jaime Lannister) is preparing an offensive against Daenerys Targaryen. Cersei being Cersei, has enemies everywhere and not enough allies to take on a girl with three dragons.
Enter Euron Greyjoy, the newly crowned Lord of the Iron Islands with his fleet of a thousand ships. Aye, exactly what Cersei needs. Oh and he brings with him a marriage proposal, taking a swing at Jaime’s one handedness while at it. Just rude, very rude. You don’t point out a man’s physical inadequacy in front of his lady err sister.
Watching Euron in action, we have no doubt that he will be a worse villain that Ramsay Bolton and Joffrey Baratheon combined. The beard helps. I’m not sure about his costume though but it’s Euron so anything is possible. Also someone needs to explain his uncanny resemblance to Theon Greyjoy’s Alfie Allen. Anyone?
Samwell Tarly. Nope, not gonna talk about it. The bed pan. The food. Moving on.
Hey look, it’s Ed Sheeran debuting a new single as a member of the Lannister army. I have to say he looks out of place but it’s Ed so he is allowed to look out of place, especially with that kind of voice. Also, Imma need that single on iTunes ASAP.
Welcome home Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. Westeros has missed you. Dragonstone has missed you. And so it begins or as Dany says, “Shall we begin.”