Hey yea of weak hearts, stay away from this post for it is full of spoilers.
The final episode of Game of Thrones season 7, The Dragon and the Wolf gave us what our hearts truly desired in more ways than one. Chatty moments, scheming moments, clandestine boat-rocking moments, throat-slitting moments and of course the Ice Dragon Viserion moments, all rolled up into the most adrenaline-pumped GoT episode yet. And it was long, just like we like it.
Diplomatic mission to King’s Landing
As usual, Cersei killed it in the fashion department, and she knew it as she walked in with her lethal security (zombie Mountain, Qyburn and Ser Jaime) to receive Daenerys emissaries at King’s Landing. There were a couple of deathly stares here and there, some nostalgic ones as they all waited for Dany who was fashionably late.
A show-off and a drama queen as usual, Dany made her entry riding Drogon, a well calculated power move that made Cersei snap:
“We’ve been here for some time.”
We’ve been waiting for these two to be in the same room since they started speaking each other’s names. We’ve dreamed about it, fantasized. And here they were, two Queens in one city, with deep hatred and contempt for one other, sitting so close to one another that Cersei could literally spit in Dany’s face if she only leaned forward.
Then it was down to the business we all know too well, trying to convince Cersei and the other doubting Thomases that the army of the dead is real. And they did make one hell of a presentation, showcasing the wight kidnapped in Beyond the Wall. Of course, White Walkers 101 is never complete without a heartfelt speech from Jon.
Cersei agreed to support the war against the dead with a few conditions of her own. That the King in the North must go back to the North, and not choose sides between Dany and Cersei. Just a tiny problem, Jon has already bent the knee to Dany, and he chooses this highly volatile moment to let everyone know that.
Oh Jon, have you never learned to lied? I must say, our noble King in the North really needs a lot of training when it comes to the politics of the game of thrones.
Cersei threw a tantrum and left, Tyrion followed her knowing too well he might not make it out alive and convinced her to join them in their quest. She came back out and told them all what they wanted to hear, the Lannister army will march North with Jon and Dany’s army to fight the wights and the White Walkers.
But Cersei sits on the Iron Throne for a reason – no one schemes better than her. No one lies better than her. It was just her way of throwing Dany off course so she can conquer Westeros as everyone else fights in the North. Revealing all this to Jaime didn’t achieve the intended purpose – he still left to join the great war after narrowly escaping being murdered by the Moutain. Cersei almost ordered it, but she choked because well, have you seen Jaime’s jawline?
The Stark sisters outsmart Littlefinger
While major play and power struggle was taking place at the capital, Winterfell was getting rid of the most hated character on Game of Thrones, Littlefinger. For a character who gets off on scheming and betraying the Starks, to die by his own dagger was very satisfying. After conniving to have Arya punished for murder and treason, Littlefinger thought he had really hit the jackpot with this one – Sansa by his side, the threat of Arya Stark eliminated for good. Seriously, I was just waiting for the first soldier to swing a sword at Arya because we all know a girl can take care of herself.
But then GoT gave us the long awaited plot twist – it wasn’t Arya but Littlefinger who was on trial. The Stark sisters’ revenge against Littlefinger was a wishful thinking to many in this season. And they planned it well, Bran had a bit of his Three-Eyed Raven sauce thrown in there as well, the all-creepy, all-knowing, all smart Littlefinger didn’t even see it coming.
My God, Sansa was divine. And here we thought we’d see the last of her clapbacks after that time she put Littlefinger in his place in Dragonstsone. Mama, she made it!
“I’m a slow learner, it’s true. But I learn…Thank you for your many lessons Lord Baelish, I will never forget them.”
And then Arya did what she was born to do, she slashed Ldittlefinger’s throat and now the world’s problems are solved.
Jon and Daenerys finally rock the boat
When it comes to nudity and sex scenes, GoT has been very modest this season. Sure, there was that Grey Worm – Missandei moment, Jaime -Cersei moment, eww, but that was it. Enter Jon and Dany who have given us some really longing stares, the sex scene in the boat was inevitable. Woooh! Jon is one hungry king. Also, bless Kit Harrington’s soul for that butt. I will need your squats routine Jon, thank you very much.
For all intents and purposes, this was a heated scene, the audience needed this. But then it became awkward all of a sudden when they started intercutting it with the Sam-Bran revelation that Jon is not even a bastard but a legitimate Targaryen, making him the real heir to the Iron Throne.
Honestly, it was a conflict of emotions for us to see Jon and his aunt Dany so hungry for each other. At least they still don’t know they are related. It’s really weird I know, but can we really be blamed for liking it and being confused at the same time? This season didn’t give us much choice when they gave us all those sexual innuendos between Jon and Dany.
The redemption of Theon Greyjoy
This was unexpectedly the most emotional scene of this episode. If you didn’t shed a tear, you are extremely cold. In desperate need for forgiveness for sins committed against the Starks and for abandoning his sister Yara, Theon sought the comfort of Jon Snow who gave him the courage to man up and be both a Stark and a Greyjoy.
To man up he did, even getting a few loyal Ironborns to follow him and help him save his sister.
Seven blessings to him, I really hope Theon will catch a break in season 8.
Ice dragon Viserion brings down the wall
The other iconic scene of the finale was seeing the undead Viserion controlled by the Night King bring down the wall at Eastwatch-by-the-sea to pave way for the army of the dead. Was that icy fire he blew because so many people are confused.
I pity us humanity who have to wait until 2019 to know the fate of Tormund Gianstbane and Berric Dondarrion who were caught in Viserion’s mayhem.
For now, that was one heck of a send-off, The Dragon and the Wolf was a well-curated, powerful episode for the busiest season of Game of Thrones. Good to know the ravens were not overworked this time.
Seriously, you must have watched the latest episode of Game of Thrones by now. It’s Tuesday for Pete’s Sake, how slow can you be? But then, a girl is not judging just warning you that you will find spoilers here.
While lacking any major fight scenes, the fifth episode Eastwatch was the perfect way to cool off from the Loot Train Battle in The Spoils of War.
We jump right off to it with Bronn saving Jaime from the depth of the river. Like Game of Thrones would just let Ser Jaime drown, pfft. Drowning is for inconsequential characters like say Ed Sheeran who is probably part of the Lannister army who took the heat from Drogon.
Nooo, Dickon Tarly, I liked that guy with his handsome face and really, really weird name. But I guess Daenerys and Drogon had to have their fun. Fare thee well Dickon and Lord Randyll Tarly (you sir I didn’t like).
Despite Drogon’s briefly showing off, there were a lot of moments to live for in Eastwatch, more reunions to remind us that Game of Thrones gives as much as it takes, a surprise announcement from Cersei, Jon petting Drogon (this is where I lost my shit) and so many lingering looks between Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen.
Guys, it seems like the Mother of Dragons couldn’t keep her eyes off the King in the North. We saw it, it started way back before Jon petted Drogon, that side glance she threw him in episode 4. Jon is that guy who comes to your house and falls in love with your kids like they are his own. Who wouldn’t want that?
Dany even had the audacity to forbid the noble King in the North to go beyond the wall because, well, people die beyond the wall. She swallowed hard at that moment, just couldn’t keep her eyes off him and no more talks of “bending the knee.”
“If I don’t return at least you wont deal with the King in the North anymore.”
“I’ve grown used to him.”
Hmmm, love just knocks you off your feet when you least expect it, doesn’t it Daenerys?
Jorah Mormont saw it too (welcome back good soldier), even Tyrion didn’t miss this developing love story.
A round of applause for Tyrion, he had his first drink of the season now he can know more things. Or maybe they are just more terrible strategies that Cersei will use to her own advantage.
I smell a White Walker alliance coming because Cersei, well, is crazy. And now she is with child, or is she? With Cersei you can never know for sure.
Oh Arya, to be young and restless. Our little assassin has gone for many days without killing something, she was just dying to stick Needle into anyone’s throat say like Lords of the North or even her own sister Sansa.
Arya was way in over her head in Eastwatch that she played right into the hands of schemer extraordinaire Littlefinger. The Lord Protector of the Vale planted a letter Sansa wrote to Robb a while back when she was still Joffrey’s play thing. If you remember correctly, Sansa was forced to pen this letter by Cersei to ‘talk sense into her family’ to bend the knee to then King Joffrey after Ned Stark was arrested for treason.
It’s a shame that the Faceless Men do not teach their students how to scheme. A girl has fallen into a trap. Now a girl is out to murder her sister. Y’all think Sansa is on Arya’s list now? Sleek Littlefinger, very sleek but still piss off you creep.
Better news than Arya getting played, Gendry is back and he can swing a hammer. White Walkers should be very afraid. Just imagine a band of misfits Jon Snow, Gendry, Jorah Mormont, Tormund and his Free Folk, The Hound and the Brotherhood Without Banners heading beyond the wall. Again, White Walkers should be very afraid.
Boo to Sam for ignoring the biggest revelation from Gilly – Jon is actually a legitimate Targaryen!😲😲😲
Quick question, where is Grey Worm and the Unsullied?
O ye, of weak hearts, shoo. Go find something better to do with your time because as usual, you’ll find spoilers here as I try to wrap my head around the third episode of Game of Thrones S7: The Queen’s Justice.
Let no one speak to me for 100 days. I shall be in mourning. I am heartbroken. Send a raven, the Queen of Thorns is no more. The Queen’s Justice has been served on the only woman I have ever truly cared for in Game of Thrones. The woman who freed us from the monster that was Joffrey Baratheon. The woman who put the Sand Snakes in their place (other than Euron Greyjoy of course). We shall miss your wits and your sharp tongue. Fare thee well.
She may be dead but we are all satisfied it was on her own terms. Once she drinks the poison served to her by Jaime Lannister (who gives her the mercy of a quick painless death), she confesses to poisoning Joffrey and Jaime just stands there, swallowing his failure to return the favour. “Tell Cersei I want her to know it was me.” A true queen of thorns even in her last moments.
So much for Tyrion’s strategy of war. So much for the Unsullied capturing Casterly Rock. So much for Daenerys Targaryen’s war allies.
While we are still on the subject of the Mother of Dragons, can we also discuss how Dany would fail terribly in a grammar class? It’s always refreshing to see Missandei and Tyrion clarify simple lexicon to her. For instance her latest war of words with Jon Snow.
The highly anticipated meeting finally happens and Daenerys starts off as a little bit of an ass before ‘warming’ up to Jon Snow. Like c’mon Dany, give him the dragonglass! He’s a Targaryen for crying out loud!
I’m starting to think that Dany is a little too entitled for her own good. Yeah, yeah you had a horrible childhood, so did Jon, Bran, Sansa and Arya. But do you see them whining about it every chance they get. Also, this business of making Missandei waste too much saliva, breath and energy to introduce her needs to stop. “You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne…blah blah blah.” My God, it’s been seven seasons, I think we get it already.
Ser Davos is a gem though. “This is Jon Snow.” Pause. Awkward silence. Expectation. “He’s King of the North.” I laughed so hard. Someone get the Onion Knight a beer. And throw in Missandei’s phone number while at it.
Tyrion might look like a failure at the moment for proposing shitty war strategies but he’s quite efficient when it comes to speaking on behalf of Jon Snow.
Did you see that smile they gave each other at the shores of Dragonstone. Pay attention ladies and gentlemen, that is a rare image of a Stark (until Bran speaks up, Jon is a Stark so let it go) exchanging genuine smiles with a Lannister.
At King’s Landing, Cersei is still on a winning spree, making booty calls, avenging old crimes and trying to keep the Iron Throne. When Euron presents his spoils of war to the Queen, we all know the end game for Ellaria Sand. But for Cersei to poison her youngest daughter and make her watch as she rots away in another level of evil.
Aye, aye, all present and future monsters and sympathizers of monsters everywhere, Cersei is conducting a masterclass on “How to be the best monster” in the dungeons. Good riddance to the Dornish plotline. Oh Cersei, how we all underestimated you.
Team Dany better start bringing their A game because at the moment Team Cersei is in the lead and they are winning comfortably.
Good job Sam. The Citadel was nice to us in this episode. No food. No poop. No gag reflex. Jorah Mormont is alive and well- greyscale gone. Now he can go love Daenerys in peace.
This never gets old, piss off Littlefinger.