Hey yea of weak hearts, stay away from this post for it is full of spoilers.
The final episode of Game of Thrones season 7, The Dragon and the Wolf gave us what our hearts truly desired in more ways than one. Chatty moments, scheming moments, clandestine boat-rocking moments, throat-slitting moments and of course the Ice Dragon Viserion moments, all rolled up into the most adrenaline-pumped GoT episode yet. And it was long, just like we like it.
Diplomatic mission to King’s Landing
As usual, Cersei killed it in the fashion department, and she knew it as she walked in with her lethal security (zombie Mountain, Qyburn and Ser Jaime) to receive Daenerys emissaries at King’s Landing. There were a couple of deathly stares here and there, some nostalgic ones as they all waited for Dany who was fashionably late.
A show-off and a drama queen as usual, Dany made her entry riding Drogon, a well calculated power move that made Cersei snap:
“We’ve been here for some time.”
We’ve been waiting for these two to be in the same room since they started speaking each other’s names. We’ve dreamed about it, fantasized. And here they were, two Queens in one city, with deep hatred and contempt for one other, sitting so close to one another that Cersei could literally spit in Dany’s face if she only leaned forward.
Then it was down to the business we all know too well, trying to convince Cersei and the other doubting Thomases that the army of the dead is real. And they did make one hell of a presentation, showcasing the wight kidnapped in Beyond the Wall. Of course, White Walkers 101 is never complete without a heartfelt speech from Jon.
Cersei agreed to support the war against the dead with a few conditions of her own. That the King in the North must go back to the North, and not choose sides between Dany and Cersei. Just a tiny problem, Jon has already bent the knee to Dany, and he chooses this highly volatile moment to let everyone know that.
Oh Jon, have you never learned to lied? I must say, our noble King in the North really needs a lot of training when it comes to the politics of the game of thrones.
Cersei threw a tantrum and left, Tyrion followed her knowing too well he might not make it out alive and convinced her to join them in their quest. She came back out and told them all what they wanted to hear, the Lannister army will march North with Jon and Dany’s army to fight the wights and the White Walkers.
But Cersei sits on the Iron Throne for a reason – no one schemes better than her. No one lies better than her. It was just her way of throwing Dany off course so she can conquer Westeros as everyone else fights in the North. Revealing all this to Jaime didn’t achieve the intended purpose – he still left to join the great war after narrowly escaping being murdered by the Moutain. Cersei almost ordered it, but she choked because well, have you seen Jaime’s jawline?
The Stark sisters outsmart Littlefinger
While major play and power struggle was taking place at the capital, Winterfell was getting rid of the most hated character on Game of Thrones, Littlefinger. For a character who gets off on scheming and betraying the Starks, to die by his own dagger was very satisfying. After conniving to have Arya punished for murder and treason, Littlefinger thought he had really hit the jackpot with this one – Sansa by his side, the threat of Arya Stark eliminated for good. Seriously, I was just waiting for the first soldier to swing a sword at Arya because we all know a girl can take care of herself.
But then GoT gave us the long awaited plot twist – it wasn’t Arya but Littlefinger who was on trial. The Stark sisters’ revenge against Littlefinger was a wishful thinking to many in this season. And they planned it well, Bran had a bit of his Three-Eyed Raven sauce thrown in there as well, the all-creepy, all-knowing, all smart Littlefinger didn’t even see it coming.
My God, Sansa was divine. And here we thought we’d see the last of her clapbacks after that time she put Littlefinger in his place in Dragonstsone. Mama, she made it!
“I’m a slow learner, it’s true. But I learn…Thank you for your many lessons Lord Baelish, I will never forget them.”
And then Arya did what she was born to do, she slashed Ldittlefinger’s throat and now the world’s problems are solved.
Jon and Daenerys finally rock the boat
When it comes to nudity and sex scenes, GoT has been very modest this season. Sure, there was that Grey Worm – Missandei moment, Jaime -Cersei moment, eww, but that was it. Enter Jon and Dany who have given us some really longing stares, the sex scene in the boat was inevitable. Woooh! Jon is one hungry king. Also, bless Kit Harrington’s soul for that butt. I will need your squats routine Jon, thank you very much.
For all intents and purposes, this was a heated scene, the audience needed this. But then it became awkward all of a sudden when they started intercutting it with the Sam-Bran revelation that Jon is not even a bastard but a legitimate Targaryen, making him the real heir to the Iron Throne.
Honestly, it was a conflict of emotions for us to see Jon and his aunt Dany so hungry for each other. At least they still don’t know they are related. It’s really weird I know, but can we really be blamed for liking it and being confused at the same time? This season didn’t give us much choice when they gave us all those sexual innuendos between Jon and Dany.
The redemption of Theon Greyjoy
This was unexpectedly the most emotional scene of this episode. If you didn’t shed a tear, you are extremely cold. In desperate need for forgiveness for sins committed against the Starks and for abandoning his sister Yara, Theon sought the comfort of Jon Snow who gave him the courage to man up and be both a Stark and a Greyjoy.
To man up he did, even getting a few loyal Ironborns to follow him and help him save his sister.
Seven blessings to him, I really hope Theon will catch a break in season 8.
Ice dragon Viserion brings down the wall
The other iconic scene of the finale was seeing the undead Viserion controlled by the Night King bring down the wall at Eastwatch-by-the-sea to pave way for the army of the dead. Was that icy fire he blew because so many people are confused.
I pity us humanity who have to wait until 2019 to know the fate of Tormund Gianstbane and Berric Dondarrion who were caught in Viserion’s mayhem.
For now, that was one heck of a send-off, The Dragon and the Wolf was a well-curated, powerful episode for the busiest season of Game of Thrones. Good to know the ravens were not overworked this time.
Before we begin on our weekly guilty pleasure of spoilers and rants, let it be known that this is Littfinger’s hate zone. Feel free to tell that old salamander to piss off. Please, please dear Benioff and Weiss let this be the episode he dies, I hoped and I prayed.
But as it would seem, the sixth episode of Game of Thrones titled Beyond the Wall was not where it was going to happen. Tik tok Littlefinger.
We start off the episode just as we left it, with Jon Snow’s Suicide Squad heading beyond the wall just dealing with their issues like Tormund Gianstbane looking forward to making cute babies with Brienne of Tarth. Such a genius idea guys. Look at them, twelve men (I counted but I could be wrong) of sound mind and legal capacity just heading out to snatch one wight from the infinite army of the dead. Death really is the enemy.
Their first face-off with danger comes in form of an undead bear who kills an insignificant member of the squad and wounds Thoros of Myr.
So far so good. Next they come upon a small group of wights led by a White Walker who are no match for the squad. They even manage to capture one alive. A little fighter this one, just before they subdue him he screams his heart out to summon an entire race of wights.
If there was a point in your life you ever thought you were screwed, that wasn’t it. Now Jon and his squad are SCREWED, not you who was once stranded in an airport toilet with no tissue paper as your last call buzzed over the speakers.
Lucky for them they have Gendry who can run really fast (when did he acquire this skill???) and off he goes to send a raven to Daenerys as instructed by Jon.
And then we see them, an avalanche of the dead descends on Jon and his five men army. With the ice also sinking around them, our genius squad take refuge on top of a rock outcrop. Bless Mother Nature for such tiny miracles. Now it’s a stare contest between the White Walkers and our Westerosi Avengers as they wait on the surrounding water to freeze again.
Tik tok, tik tok. Gendry is running really fast. The squad is freezing as they try to sleep. Our little wight prisoner is restless. Thoros of Myr is no more. Look, the Hound is bored to death, as usual. He throws the first stone, and the second. Uh-oh, the water is frozen once again.
The wights attack. We almost lose Tormund. Freezing, outnumbered, there is no other way this battle could possible end for Jon and his crew. And then, a lake of fire.
Once again Game of Throne defies distance between continents as Daenerys, dressed like a real Ice Queen swoops in with her three children to save the day.
Aah, the things we do for love. She may deny it to Tyrion as much as she wants but Dany is falling in love with this man – Jon.
It’s a moment of relief to see the army of the dead get a taste of dragon’s fury. Yaassss bitches, we have dragons! Move wights, Get Out The Way!
Just when it looks too good to be true, the Night King aims his juju javelin at Viserion and the poor thing comes tumbling down. Cersei will really like this guy. He has managed to kill a dragon.
Everyone joins Dany on Drogon’s back except Jon who is plunged into the icy water by a wight. Game of Thrones really has a thing for drowning lately. Unable to save the King in the North and with the Night King going for his second dragon kill, Dany flies away.
But Jon doesn’t die easily and as is expected he survives drowning. Look it’s Uncle Benjen coming to the rescue. Hey stranger.
The relief on Dany’s face when she sees Jon coming back to Eastwatch, and Jorah, the King of the Friendzone keeps taking it like a man.
Now that the matter of White Walkers has been briefly suppressed, Jon makes a really bad decision. Really Jon? We are bending the knee now? To see the King in the North revisit this salty subject and agree to bend the knee even when Dany was ready to risk it all for him breaks my heart.
I know he feels some sense of gratitude, and even guilt for what happened to her dragon but to sell out the North like that. The North Remembers and they are not going to take this betrayal lightly.
I wonder what Arya will say now that her precious Jon has decided to call Dany his Queen, seeing that she is so quick to judge Sansa for things she knows nothing about. A girl can sure hold a grudge. Don’t get me wrong I love Arya Stark and everything she represents but she needs to direct her dagger and anger to the elephant in the room. Aah Littlefinger, I couldn’t possibly be talking about you, could I?
Oh, and Viserion is a White Walker dragon now. I literally screamed when his eyes opened and they were blue. Cersei is really going to love this.
The opening scene. The brutality of it. The humour of it. The march after the killing. The victorious music. The quotes. “Leave one wolf alive, and the sheep are never safe.” Arya Stark’s revenge on House Frey was legendary – the best thing that happened in Game of Thrones season 7 episode 1.
Channeling what should have been her mother’s responsibility (had Benioff and Weiss revived her from the dead) as Lady Stoneheart, Arya transforms into a Faceless Man, gathers the Frey men for a feast a la The Red Wedding and poisons them all.
“When people ask you what happened here, tell them the North remembers. Tell them Winter came for House Frey.” Arya Stark has never been this quotable in all the six seasons on Game of Thrones. Atta girl.
Then she marches away, fiercely, eyebrows on fleek (as always).
In Winterfell, the woes of the King in the North begin. While holding a council on how to best fight the White Walkers, the first sign of tension between Jon Snow and Sansa Stark rears its ugly head. Then we catch a glimpse of Littlefinger, eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he watches the fire he ignited start to burn. Piss off you old prick.
It’s a good thing Sansa puts him in his place later. “No need to seize the last word Lord Baelish, I’ll assume it was something clever.” Damn, the Stark girls are on fire with the one-liners in this episode.
OMG Lyanna Mormont. The Lady of the Bear Islands is in her fiercest behavior as usual defending Jon’s honour. “I don’t plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me.” Lyanna Mormont, never change please.
In King’s Landing, Cersei Lannister, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, err I mean Three Kingdoms (reality check from Jaime Lannister) is preparing an offensive against Daenerys Targaryen. Cersei being Cersei, has enemies everywhere and not enough allies to take on a girl with three dragons.
Enter Euron Greyjoy, the newly crowned Lord of the Iron Islands with his fleet of a thousand ships. Aye, exactly what Cersei needs. Oh and he brings with him a marriage proposal, taking a swing at Jaime’s one handedness while at it. Just rude, very rude. You don’t point out a man’s physical inadequacy in front of his lady err sister.
Watching Euron in action, we have no doubt that he will be a worse villain that Ramsay Bolton and Joffrey Baratheon combined. The beard helps. I’m not sure about his costume though but it’s Euron so anything is possible. Also someone needs to explain his uncanny resemblance to Theon Greyjoy’s Alfie Allen. Anyone?
Samwell Tarly. Nope, not gonna talk about it. The bed pan. The food. Moving on.
Hey look, it’s Ed Sheeran debuting a new single as a member of the Lannister army. I have to say he looks out of place but it’s Ed so he is allowed to look out of place, especially with that kind of voice. Also, Imma need that single on iTunes ASAP.
Welcome home Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. Westeros has missed you. Dragonstone has missed you. And so it begins or as Dany says, “Shall we begin.”
Solitude breeds contentment, loneliness breeds emptiness.
Often, in our quest to self discovery, we mistake one for the other.
Learn the difference, save yourself.
Let’s pretend that Sun Tzu was a just a myth
That we invented the art of war
And to have an upper hand, we swallowed all the weapons
Do you know what happens when your tongue is floating in nothing but gun powder?
It gets used to the taste, trains itself to stand in the path of war
But sometimes we are civil
Where we live, there is a room we love more
This room has walls made only of ice
That once you step inside, everything else becomes frozen
And you bleed only from the inside
Some people call it the cold war
But listen love, we are not over-thinkers, we certainly are not pessimists
So let’s play pretend, let’s call it simply a truce
Let’s all just play pretend
Wait, we are too good at this
Tell that to all the lovers we’ve met
Others we’ve ignored when they were not looking
Those with the perfect image,
unblemished even after past lives but still we filtered them
Looking for damages in places there were none
But aren’t we really the damaged ones?
Edging through the door, piece by piece
Slipping to the other side before they knew we were gone
We just wanna speed away and leave no trail
If only we could tip the scale,
make us lighter, less scared to want things
There is not really much out there anyway
Hey ye of little faith, have you never made a wish to the wind?
Wait a minute, is that a trick question?
No one said anything about going in deep
Let’s keep it simple, let’s play pretend.
Let’s pretend that we’ve mastered the art of conversation
That’s nothing is really lost in the ones that end too soon
Or the ones that change course mid-sentence
Let’s pretend that we care deeply about the smiles in the crowd
Those are the easiest to cheat, no time to linger
Please don’t judge
We are merely moving on to the next best thing
Let’s pretend that we didn’t start running to give ourselves a headstart
That we both waited long enough to bolt out
And there was the grace period before we pushed the clock forward into the future
Where even the heart with the best intention has a mind of its own
Hey, I know from somewhere. Have we met before?
The hard swallow as we dust away our memories
There are no ghosts left in my corner
No, you must have me confused with someone else
Let’s pretend that we were all pure when we first met
Those days we fed each other only parts we loved
Putting the price of gold in even the tinniest things
Like the touch of a hand
Such hands are evasive
Such hands know more than they are telling
But they are really useless if they can’t send us to places we’ve never been
Like thriving in the underbelly of a heart
Where it is easy to reach in and squeeze out the air
Is that what you mean when you say you are out of breath?
What’s that they always say, make peace with the mirror and smile?
But who’s that on the other side?
Come out, let’s play pretend
Let’s pretend that all liars first met in the streets
and they followed each other home
And behind closed doors, they schemed how to trick us all
Let’s pretend that it’s never really a lie
until you learn to choose the right side